The Bacon Lady

A couple of my friends like to joke about becoming “Crazy Cat Lady,” that old woman who has 2 dozen cats roaming her home with names like Mittens and Uncle Albert, and little bowls of milk all over the floor, piano and stairs. My mom is another form of cat lady — the kind who constantly gets cat-related gifts because she likes cats. Every birthday, Mother’s Day and Christmas she gets a new book, calendar, figurine or card featuring cats, whether she wants it or not. I myself am guilty; I bought her Dewey for Christmas, but only because I really thought she’d enjoy the read. She’s a reader, that one.

Anyhow, what does this have to do with bacon? Only that I think I’m becoming Bacon Lady, the friend who you buy little bacon-related gifts for because, hey! She likes bacon! I’m not complaining. I recently received a box of gummy bacon, some bacon floss, and my personal favorite, the bacon mints. The gummy bacon tastes like strawberry gummy anythings, and I liked it. I’m a sucker for gummy. The floss was weird; when I first opened the package and sniffed, it reminded me of a big, meaty dentist hand. I know that sounds strange, but the mixture of rubber gloves and whatever antiseptic soap dentists use…well, it smells like bacon floss. I couldn’t really taste the bacon in the floss, but the more I used it, the more I could smell that smoky, dentisty smell. I vote no on bacon floss.

To my great surprise, I liked the bacon mints. The smell when you open the tin is similar to the smell of the bacon floss, except that the container is a metal tin rather than a plastic box, so it’s kind of metallic with a backwash of liquid smoke. When you put it in your mouth there’s an instant of smoked meat flavor, but then you mostly just taste mint. The weird thing, though, is that you continue to smell the smoke, almost like you’re smelling it with your mouth. It’s hard to describe, but the essence of smoke remains sort of ethereal throughout. So I give the mints at least one thumb up. If you’re curious about any of these bacon delights, you can find these and much, much more at Archie McPhee.

Big thanks to Todd, Kerby and Lorraine for thinking of me when you see anything bacon. I hope someone thinks of me next time they see a gourmet bacon of the month club!